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Monday, November 27, 2006

Blunt Force Trauma

I watched the Pacquiao vs. Morales fight last Sunday at L'Fisher Hotel with my dad. They set up the La Proa Ballroom with a huge screen and LCD projector with room for at least 200 people. The atmosphere during the fight was insane, people were screaming, cheering on Pacman as loud as they could. I swear, it felt like we were right there ringside in Las Vegas. Manny didn't disappoint his fans, he was too fast and too strong. Morales didn't have a chance.

Well, kudos to Manny for the win, but that isn't what the main topic of this post is. For those who watched the early moments of the pay-per-view or were just early for the match in the arena itself, there was this one fight before all the main events had started. It involved Fernando Beltran Jr. and Edel Ruiz, in the Super Bantamweight division. They were actually really slow and not much to look at.

At first, I wasn't paying much attention until, during one of the early rounds, I noticed Beltran go down on his knees and grimace in pain. For some reason, the referee wasn't counting to ten, but was reprimanding the other boxer instead. This made me look at Beltran again and noticed he was doubled over, groaning and covering his crotch. Turns out, the Ruiz was guilty of committing a low blow. I chuckled a bit and settled in my seat to watch out of sheer curiosity.

After a while, he did it again! This time, I actually saw his glove hit Beltran's nether region. The other dude seemed like he was pretty close to tears and his hands were on his battered manhood. It was painful to watch and I couldn't help but wince. At this point, most of the crowd in L'Fisher noticed what was going on and were reacting as well.

Out of pity, I hoped that would be the last low blow Beltran would have to suffer, but for some reason, the sadist in me was half-expecting to see more phallic carnage. The referee warned Ruiz again, but only a few moments later, a third and a fourth low blow sent his hapless opponent into the throes of pain and suffering. Each time a low blow was committed, there was mix of laughs and groans from the crowd. I myself found it hard to decide whether to burst out laughing or empathetically cup my own family jewels in pain.

The low blowing dynamo, Ruiz, was given his final warning to cease the bludgeoning of his opponent's wang, but with little success. For the FIFTH and final time, he delivered a low blow straight to the pitiful balls of Beltran. The victim went down with a look of excruciating pain on his face and I couldn't help but explode in laughter. The rest of the crowd gave a similar reaction, mixed with boos, cheers and whatnot. Beltran won by DQ in the fourth round, but at what cost?

How the hell did this happen? Ruiz must be blind and should never have been in the ring in the first place. God... It was good for a few laughs, but have mercy on the dude taking the punches to the crotch. I bet if Beltran is lucky enough to produce children, they'll be born dizzy and stupid.

listening to: Youngbloodz - Im'ma Shine



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