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Saturday, August 27, 2005Inner demons |
| There have been several times in my life where the person looking back at me in the mirror looked weak and pathetic. A voice inside would taunt me and make me want to release all the rage that's been building up after all these years. It would tell me to do evil things, to stop being such a doormat. It would tell me that it's ok to hurt the people who hurt me. The darkness in my soul wanted me to just let loose and become something others would fear. There were a few times where the anger inside just couldn't be held back anymore and I'd just lose control. I'd drink until the pain and rage would consume me. The closest target I could find would be on the recieving end of a world of hurt. Most of the time, it would be a wall, punching bag or something similar. Sometimes it would be myself. The demon would push me until I couldn't take anymore. Until all I had the strength to do was fall to my knees and break down and cry. In the wake of all the destruction would be a bloody and regretful ninja. That was me a long time ago. The last time I remember doing anything like that was around 2 years ago. After that, I refused to ever give in to those forces again. I told myself that I'm a good person, that I don't need to become something I hate. For the most part, it's been rather peaceful lately. But with what's happening right now, I can feel those voices starting to whisper to me again... |
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@ 4:50 PM 
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© Timothy James Tupas 2005 All rights reserved
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