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Friday, August 26, 2005Emotional Lottery |
| She knows I love her, that I'd always love her and take care of her, but would it be enough for her to stay? Kay is in Manila, taking time off from our relationship in order to evaluate what her true feelings are for me. Of course, there are several other factors involved, but I really don't want to go into it right now. It might further add to my depression. Those who are already familiar with my situation, well, let's just say that the biggest problem in our relationship hasn't been taken care of yet. I thought it was over with, but I thought wrong. I've been trying to keep a positive outlook, but it hurts so bad. It feels like my chest is crushing my heart, and my stomach is doing backflips. It feels as if all the sunshine has been sucked out of my sky and has been replaced with my own personal rain cloud (like in the cartoons). All I can do right now is pray as hard as I can that God won't take her away from me. So now this ninja gets to play the waiting game. If everything goes the way I pray to God they would, then it would be like I won the Emotional Lottery. I get to stay with the love of my life and be happy. If not, let's just say that this will turn into one of those sad blogs that JM mentioned in his blog. To everyone asking why I haven't shared this earlier, I just couldn't put it into words. Posting it in my blog is the best I can do. Every time I think about it, the tears well up and I turn into a pathetic mess. I don't know what I'd do without her in my life... |
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@ 8:23 PM 
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